Chantel Taylor – The Worm has Turned
I was pathetic, now I’ve turned around my mindset, now a champion – thanks to your hypnotic program
Hi Kerry, I have been working on lots of things we covered in our previous sessions and program for improving my mindset.
1 Protecting boundaries. I noticed a lot of people were frequently stepping over my boundaries, very clear to see that now. Most people have pulled their heads in, thanks to my sessions with you and “We teach people how to treat us”. My Auntie kept mentioning my ex-boyfriend. Have assertively asked her to stop. It’s interesting how some people like my auntie go into some sort of funny denial. Anyway, she stopped (for now), but will keep an eye on that.
Overall I have truly taken the “pathetic” out of “empathetic”. Kerry, I was pathetic. A people-pleasing victim. A sad sack of worry and allowing my environment to control my life. Well, the worm has turned. I am now a true boundary rider. The fly zapper comes out every times someone hits the edge of the force field (they all think something’s got into me, but really it’s for the better and my true friends are certainly sticking around and are pleased to see I am much happier). My self-esteem has improved massively too!
2. Identifying narcissists and sociopaths. As you may recall, I grew up with a narcissistic sister, I have had a sociopathic ex who is the father of our 5 year old son. I have become so switched on with identifying gas lighting attempts, attempts to “get a rise” out of me etc. I am now indifferent to them as I know I am good enough just as I am. Am teaching them how to treat me. If they won’t or can’t then they are out of my life or at least at the very edge.
3. How to handle more complex social situations. I am now highly competent at handling a narc or a sociopath one on one. I am much better emailing as it gives me time to think. Face to face is getting better with practice.
4. Another really interesting thing happened for me. Once I got rid of a lot of the chatter/noise in my internal dialogue, I found I was processing a lot of events, but in reverse order. I felt I was clear and really sorted in my mind once I had processed these for long enough. I started with my ex from a year ago (narcissist). Done. Then up came my ex from 5 years ago (sociopath, violent when drunk). Done. Then up came my ex from before that (where I lost 3 houses etc. due to my decision to lend him money for legal costs against his ex wife). Done. Then up came my sister (narcissist) from my childhood. Done. Then up came my mother who enabled my sister’s crappy behaviour because she said my sister was “fragile”. Done. (my mother now realises my sister is a narcissist and we have a good relationship). My father’s abuse (controlling authoritarian). Done. Then all the processing just stopped….my mind was free of clutter for the first time I can ever remember.
5. Since then I’ve applied for a new job (I’m at the 3rd interview stage), cleaned my house and donated a lot of stuff I didn’t need, spent more time playing with my son, built a cubby, invented a few new ideas, donated money to those in need, joined my son up to Little Athletics, started a new diet plan. Sat on a bus next to my sociopathic ex on a school excursion at our son’s request (my ex’s body language was priceless). I’m just confident. Not arrogant, but happy to be who I am and have a voice.
Thank you Kerry for all you have done to help me. You’re the best.